Some Friendships Don’t End – They just slowly disappear
Before we begin with the title of this post, let us understand “What is friendship?” The real meaning of friendship could be a loving bond between two or more people, who once met and started sharing their stories, backgrounds and the trust begins to build, rather than based on caste, religion, identity and race. It’s not just a bond, but something more than that, which may include the love, inseparable bond, unselfish care and safe vulnerability. Where you can trust at this much way that you know whatever happens in life, but he/she/them/they (refer friend’s) will always remain there for you, and your silly talks.
Once upon a time, parents take you to school for the first time, “What we do?” Just cry… cry… and cry…. No mom or dad I don’t want to go to school. Please take me back home and make millions of ideas in our head to just go back home in one way or another.
Do you know – Why we do so?
The answer is simple, but practical as well. The place is new to us, the people over there who are already present there – we are not familiar with those faces. We have some kind of fear in our head specially of one thing “What will happen next?”. Nothing extra ordinary, but your teacher says say ‘Hi’ to all the students present in class and then asks you to sit with anyone whom you choose. The time you sit with someone, you do not become friends immediately, rather your mind thinks to talk to everyone there one by one, to get to know everyone and to specially feel comfortable and connected with a person whom you can call him/her as a friend.
Now, school begins to be your second home as the time keeps passing on, and you are more comfortable with your friends. As you can share everything with them, with fear of unselfish care and safe vulnerability. Whenever school vacations come friends plan to go outside, maybe a shopping mall, kids entertainment zone, a cinema or any outing place where you can enjoy and have a good time together. On the contrary hands when you are about to finish your schooling you feel your mind to be stuck somewhere, but you cannot figure it out where and why? We want to say our friend the final goodbye, just for now but not forever. We are emotional, starts to ignore our friend at the last time of that school board exam, just thinking that the separation would be easier right now and as soon as we reach home, starts talking to the best friend again on the call, discussing this-that and whatsoever comes in mind that we will do fun and other things together and we will be in touch with each other forever, but as the time starts ticking again the plans we made seems difficult to be fulfilled now.
Now a new time begins, with new place and new people around us which is our college. The life here is totally different from what we have spent during the schooling time. But gradually we start loving this period and we make new friends. The same we did earlier with our school friends, the way we enjoyed, spent our time together played by making groups but not the least – we see our activities go far somethings beyond imagination of others, by chance that makes us new close friends. We try now multiple things during our college days, like participating in college fests, making new college societies, and sometimes start a venture together, just in a hope as we will grow our venture will grow along us and we together will do something big in our lives, and just will be accomplished as we are working together now. Our hopes are high, but chance of getting this done is less. I never say that all people are unsuccessful with their ventures, but only some succeed. Now, as we are moving towards the farewell time of college and the convocation, what we have in our head is just a fear of losing out again. But not that we have scored good grades, we have learnt a lot or anything other, just… just… fear of losing our friends who we love them by heart now.
Now, you and I just began with our new jobs. Meet people from different regions again, different caste and culture. When we think to meet our school and college friends we go with all of the below a million times.
Are you free on Saturday?
No, this Saturday… No Worries… Just let me know once you are free.
Oh… Next month you are going outstation. Okay, take care and have a great time over there.
Oh…My god… Thank you God, now atleast this Saturday and Sunday you are free… let’s meet at “Moments Mall”.
The friend calls you at the same day when to meet: –
My dear friend I am sorry I won’t be able to come today as relatives just came to house. Sorry ☹.
You have again a sad face, thinking now. After multiple attempts you are still not able to meet each other just for 60 minutes. Then why we have had promises whenever you will remember me, I will come immediately to you to meet you. This all feels, like having pin being pricked at your heart.
This now becomes a part of life and at starting months went off when we are unable to meet our friends, then slowly… slowly… it changes to years and we can’t understand that whether we are still friends anymore or not. It feels like there is no friendship left and I am left all alone…
After trying repeatedly, one day you realise that the two of you, who once spent every day together, are now struggling to find even 60 minutes for each other. That’s how hard friendship can become with time.
